Expectations can be problematic. Because of the challenges inherent in expectations, there are those who label them as “bad” or “undesirable” and suggest that, as such, they should be jettisoned in their entirety. The fact is that expectations (in their purest expression) are neutral and have have no ethical component or character, one way or the other. The difficulty with expectations comes when we are attached to the way in which these expectations must be realized or fulfilled. “Any deviation from the way I expect things to be is painful and unacceptable.” Indeed, this perspective truly is fraught with peril. Another point of impingement is when we impose our expectations on others without their knowledge or consent. This, too, is a sticky wicket.
A meritorious and efficacious expression of expectations is to consider them to be not unlike routes. Think of it this way: you have a destination in mind. You have a good idea of where this destination is in relation to your current position and, in order to move toward this destination, you plot a course that will take you there. This course may be the most direct, it may be the most scenic, it may be the most leisurely or any of a number of possible permutations. This course is your expectations. The problem arises when it is thought that there is only one “right” way for the route to be followed, only one way to reach your destination. If there is flexibility in your expectations (your course), then you have options and are not attached to outcomes. Flexibility leads to discovery.
There is usually more than one way. Expect it…
©Billy Red Horse